It's a Hard Life

Hey Mason,

I read through the entire thing. I'm really sorry that so much has happened to you. I just want to remind you that we're all here to support you as your friends. If you ever feel like you need to vent your feelings again, I can promise you that I will read any blog posts you make here.

It's good to see that you're getting help and that you're willing to talk about your difficulties. Those are the first steps to overcoming them.

I'd like you to know that I connected very deeply to what you wrote, because I have had friends who have been through similar situations, and thus I know how tormenting some things can be to a person. The human side of me wants to help as much as I can. But I know that sometimes you just want someone who will listen, and I think I speak for everyone when I say that we are more than willing to be of service in that department. While I can't relate specifically to what you're experiencing, I know much of how you feel. Know that there are always people willing to support you and encourage you.

The community here is very family-oriented, I think, and thus we consider you less of a member and more of a friend. I would have written a much longer post, but as I understand it you have gotten help, which I applaud you for tremendously. From your post, you recognize what you are experiencing, and that's the first step to a healthier well-being. Life is hard, yes, and the only thing we can do to make better of it is to look upwards. And I will be here supporting you as you make that journey.

I really hope you feel better

I think maybe the only reason I made it through last year (won't get into it) was reading Terry Pratchett Discworld books one the bus ride home.
I've sort of taken Granny Weatherwax's complete and utter self control as a role model, not sure if it'll help you, but it did help me get myself thorugh tough times.
Granny Weatherwax is prominent in Carpe Jugulum, but my favorite Discworld books are Theif of Time and Witches Abroad.
this probably says more about myself than I'd like it to...

Just remember to focus on the things you can do, even if it's just sitting.
I don't remember where I saw this, but I read somewhere a while ago that it is very hard to relax all of your muscles. Once you focus on it, it's surprising how tense you might be.

Good to see your bravery in posting this.

I don't really have much to add besides the things that have already been said.

If you ever need someone to talk to, let me know.

Mason
I feel really sorry for you. For everything you've been through, and I really hope everything turns out to be more merrier in the end. I certainly would not have the courage to write something this personal and emotional (as to my own opinion) on a forums website for a game. I really wouldn't be able to do something like this.

I honestly thought you were content. Sure, you may have had a couple problems here and there, but I really had no idea it was this unfortunate for you. It crushes me to hear that one who I thought was happy is more of one who seems like their life is destroyed.

You've made so many friends through this online game called Marble Blast, and I can't blame you, I've done the same.I mostly know what it feels like to be in an amazing community with people who are friendly, helpful, loyal, and they're always there for each other. But you are one of only a few people who have been here for so long that our community is almost like another life for you. You start having a chat online and it's like you get sucked into this other world as you may call it, and everything around you disappears. You're talking with friends, you're playing a game you really love, and best of all, everyone's happy that you're doing a favorite activity of yours.
Carry on with Marble Blast.

Feel better buddy, come and ask us for needed help.

I have to admit that writing that all down into a coherent post is brave and difficult to do, especially because I have suffered from depression in the past in the same sort of way, nothing inherently was going wrong yet personal life choices combined with a less-than-helpful attitude really dragged me down and, whilst I've always been good with school, it finally took its toll and I paid the price last year, meaning more work this year to make up for it.

I was popular yet completely withdrawn from my own peers, largely by choice, and that devastated my motivation to work towards any sort of goal. I also had a lot of arguments with parents, and being the horribly self-defensive person I am, try to deflect any arguments or help from them. Eventually they gave up and whilst I was fine mentally in school, as soon as I returned home I wanted to do nothing but sulk in my room and be as miserable as possible. I've only snapped out of this recently, but that was more out of necessity than anything.

Enough about me, I still am kind of lingering on to the symptoms of depression, having days where I feel completely immobilized at times, only having focus towards games when I have work to do, and when asked to do react in a overly-hostile way, but I'm trying to clamber out of that hole, especially, on reflection, how much of my life I have suffered from it in one way or another.

But always know that any feelings that need to be vented can be vented and we as a community will listen to you (as well as others affected). We are a tight-knit group and we always try to help. Yes, it is a hard life, but focusing on the positives moreso on the negatives can really help.

That was very moving.

I am so, so sorry that you are going through this right now. I can connect to it, but indirectly. My sister is going through a similar depression phase (she is 17). She is a junior in high school. She doesn't like school, but there are some things that cheer her up, like listening to George Carlin, working as a waitress at the local café, and traveling. This past summer she went to Italy for two weeks. Maybe a change of scenery would help with your depression. Working, for her, is more enjoyable than most other things, and she works nearly every day. It makes her feel like she is doing something worthwhile, I guess. EDIT: Also, try reading books. They can take you to a world where anything is possible. There is not much more that is calming then sitting in a comfy chair with a good book and a big mug of hot chocolate.

I also am going through the vast vulgar pit of puberty (I am 15), and sometimes I tear up when something doesn't go ideally. I really hope that you will feel better soon, and I support you speaking your feelings. We're all on your side here.

Thank you all for the kind comments - a tear of happiness came to my eye as I read each one. When Joey says this community is family-oriented, he is very much correct, and that's why I came here to vent. While this community is small, I love it dearly, and it's great to know I have so many supportive friends. Again, thank you. Playing Marble Blast is my saving grace. When I don't have energy to do anything else, I hop on webchat or play some MB mindlessly. It's very relieving.

A small update on my condition: I'm getting better. My appetite has returned, and in general, my attitude is positive. I am actively working on being more open and outgoing. There are a few things I look to improve, such as my sleep schedule, for I am tired all day and the bags under my eyes prevail. My attention span has shortened by a great magnitude, which makes my schoolwork difficult. On the positive side, I am having a medical procedure on Tuesday, which will (hopefully) solve my other issues.


^{And for those who are wondering why my blog was redacted for some time: a certain someone who is banned from this community decided to post my blog to Facebook. It doesn't belong there.}

Just wanna say that I recognize myself in several things you wrote, I even had a period in my life filled with depression. We all have different ways to deal with it, I had to take some time away, I didn't really tell anyone about it. For some it's best to be open about it, so we're always here to listen if you need someone to talk to Hope everything goes well on tuesday.

Kalle29 wrote: we're always here to listen if you need someone to talk to Hope everything goes well on tuesday.

Ditto. I'm very happy that you're feeling better, and I hope you continue to improve.