Camp Loucon

Premise: Every year, my school goes on a retreat to a camp titled "Loucon", in which the purpose is to stretch yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and possibly spiritually. Not many people from my school went, so the group this year was small; but it is always a refreshing experience because there's such a dramatic change in people by the time they leave the camp. This year, the retreat only lasted three days, but they were long days mind you. The goal is to grow together as a group, to be able to trust each other, and to be able to step outside of our comfort zone in doing things we aren't necessarily comfortable doing.

Experience: This was only my second (and last) year at Loucon. The first year (last year, 2013), I gained a lot more confidence in myself and other people, and the camp was really the climax of the year for me. As you may or may not know, 2013 was not the best of years, so Loucon did resonate with me in that department. This year, however, my goal was to see other people change. Seeing other people happy is what makes me happy, basically. Throughout all the activities we did, we worked as a team and had to trust in each other to get things accomplished. One of my best friends came into the camp with low confidence and self-esteem, and after the first activity she felt as though the trip was a waste of time because she didn't feel welcomed. She didn't have very many friends either. But by the end of the trip, she not only developed confidence by participating in the activities, but she made a slew of new friends that she could talk to. I don't think school will ever be the same for her, and I'm very happy for that. A lot of her friends changed too, and that's always nice. The guys had good experiences as well. Some of them became best friends, and really I got to know some of them in ways I didn't think I would. There were a lot of situations where we had personal talks, and that was always nice as it allowed me to see into somebody else's life. I won't go into detail on the activities, since that's not important, but my goal is to touch on the personal part of what Loucon is about, and that would be personal relationships and teambuilding.

The last night of the retreat is basically the climax of the trip that ties everything together, where we sit around a campfire and discuss things we've been through, struggles, and things of that nature. The idea is to learn more about the people we've been with, and hopefully to bond together through it all. Last year, I did not actually speak at the campfire, since I was confused on what to share. But this year, I had some things to say, and most of these are things I've already discussed personally in previous blog entries. It was an emotional night for me and I felt for everyone who shared their stories. I went through the years mostly concerning my homeschool and the effect that has had on my individuality and where I am now. I feel alone and I said that, but I said so with a glimmer of hope that one day I would not be. I learned things about other people that night that I did not really expect or think about, but they've helped me to keep pushing forward. Although I'm lost and confused on where I'm headed, I believe that everything happens for a reason and whatever happens will happen for the best.

There was so much more but I don't see the need to elaborate further. I've opted to even further make the most out of this year and be a positive influence, even if I won't openly share my feelings with many people (which I likely will not). This year is pretty much the last time I'll see most of my friends in the foreseeable future, because yes; I'm moving out of state - way out of state. That puts a damper on any previous plans following graduation that I initially came up with, but I still want this school year to be one final hurrah, since it is only that much more sentimental to me now.