may be taking a break for a while

as of recently been feeling like i’m not really needed and/or relevant to this community. i’m not a very good player or level maker, and i rarely play the game anyways. i’ve also had trouble having conversations with really anyone, and for a while now it’s also seemed to me that i’m not really taken seriously, and seen more as a living meme. not really someone you would want to talk to, more someone you would want to laugh at. like i’m that guy who plays roblox, or that guy who has 700 tabs of cookie clicker, whatever. i’ve had a few instances recently where i tried to talk and it just felt like i was being ignored, even though i tried to join in the conversation multiple times. i dont know if its people ignoring me or if im just bad at conversing. ive also left the discord multiple times recently, feeling worse after every rejoin.

tl;dr i dont feel like i belong here anymore and if i left nobody could really tell a difference because i have little to no impact on this community
guess ill go back to playing cookie clicker

I do think you’re completely underestimating people’s opinions of you. So many people here adore you (myself included - best source is Discord PMs), and I believe that everything you’re saying about the things that people think of you are the exact opposite in reality.
You’re also a lot better at the game than you think, despite the fact that you’ve been playing less and less recently. You’ve got all the awesome times, and you can put up a great fight against people like MBOUltimate. That’s the definition of skilled.
One of my favorite things that anyone has said about this community ever comes from Eguy, and he said that “there seems to be a misconception that you have to “contribute” in some way to be valued here”, and I couldn’t agree more with this statement. There’s no world where contribution matters here.

You know how much we love you, MBC. You might have to look a little more carefully to see that. We won’t stop you from leaving the community, temporarily or permanently, but people notice when you’re not around... very quickly.

I don't know what to say...

To be honest, everything bad you think is untrue, because you are a very relevant person of this community. You shouldn't feel worse each time you rejoin, because no one hates, and no one will, because you are a fantastic person in this community. You are an amazing player of MB, no matter how much you play. I have seen all your situations and I know you very well, and I'll be honest, taking a break is a good idea if you are having these problems.

We love you, MBC, and we will miss you, because as we said, you are a fantastic member of the community, so goodbye.

Seconding what Rosie said, you don't necessarily have to really contribute anything to be here; I personally view this place as social hangout. Despite that, you really DO contribute something - it's you yourself! You're a great member of this community, and people will agree with that 100%.
You are a good player - being the fifth person to achieve every Awesome Time is a rather notable achievement. You should be proud of yourself for that.

Regarding the whole "x number tabs of Cookie Clicker " joke, I apologize if it came out as offensive/hurtful, I was just messing around, as I do with everyone. I don't see you as a meme at all: I see you as a friend. Hopefully you do the same, because right now I feel really terrible if what I've been saying has been bothering you all this time. You aren't a laughable guy - you're a lovable guy.

Please, if anything I say or do to you bothers me, please DM me, because my intentions aren't to hurt you or anyone at all.

EDIT: Just wanted to add that you shouldn’t take it personally when people don’t respond to you in our calls. We love you being in our calls and I always want to talk to you, but in a call with 5+ other people, it’s inevitable that some of the stuff you say won’t be heard. It happens to me too. Don’t feel bad, you’re a great person to talk to, and I wouldn’t consider you bad at conversing at all.

ILY MBC

>i’m not really needed and/or relevant to this community

tbh, I do not think anyone is irrelevant in this community, let alone you.

>i’m not a very good player or level maker

wdym SDTABA was amazing, but all jokes aside I consider you to be a good player/ level maker

>i’ve also had trouble having conversations with really anyone, and for a while now it’s also seemed to me that i’m not really taken seriously, and seen more as a living meme

You do not seem to have troubles when talking, really, and wdym by not taken seriously and being seen as a living meme, I see you as a great online friend and as a great person to talk to.

>not really someone you would want to talk to, more someone you would want to laugh at.

I'd never laugh and/or make fun of you MBC

>i’m that guy who plays roblox, or that guy who has 700 tabs of cookie clicker

So what? Your personality does not reflect on what you play, it reflects on how you act

>i’ve had a few instances recently where i tried to talk and it just felt like i was being ignored

Don't know what to reply with tbh

> i dont know if its people ignoring me or if im just bad at conversing. ive also left the discord multiple times recently, feeling worse after every rejoin.

You are not bad at conversing, I enjoy talking to you and when you left, I noticed you were not there.

>tl;dr i dont feel like i belong here anymore and if i left nobody could really tell a difference because i have little to no impact on this community
guess ill go back to playing cookie clicker

wdym you do not belong here, people love you and I am more than 100% sure that people will notice if you left and it will have a huge impact on the community.

people will most likely agree with me here, I love you MBC, and the community wouldn't be what it is without you. Trust me, everyone wants you to stay.

Nah MBC, don't tell yourself that, you are an amazing player and no one will call you names or anything just because you rarely play PQ. If you wanna take a break from the community, feel free, its your decision, even if you wanna leave the community entirely, just like Rosie said, we will not force you to do anything, but we will miss you. No one is irrelevant in this community, everyone adds something special to the community, including you, which makes the community as special as it is. Everyone noticed the impact in the community when you left, and we're already missing you.

But at the end of the day, we will love you no matter what happens and we will support you in anything you need, everyone wants you to stay because you make this community so special and you are an amazing player, you are able to beat the best players in multiplayer, you have all ATs in PQ. Just dont trash yourself for everything you do. Feel free to DM me on Discord if you need anything, ily so much dude.

MBC I LEOV YYUOOOOOOOOOOOUO!!!!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

I usually don't encourage anyone to stay if they feel like this but I know and everyone else in the community knows that this is false about how your reputation is in the server. You seem to have build a wall around yourself and become sensitive to anything that someone says about you. I too have experienced this before, having social anxiety makes it difficult for me to accept someone putting insults on me. It seems like from what you are saying, you might also have feelings related to this. However, this community is not the type of place that does the stuff you are describing. This community forgives and forgets for mostly any situation. You are much too hard on yourself. The main thing is just the fact that you seem to have this opinion of "everyone in this community hates me" for something in the past or events in real life that everyone forgets and forgives for. I'd say a good 50% of the people on the discord server are not on there for the game, but to find a good place to talk about important or interesting topics and just have fun there. I wouldn't have come back if this weren't the case. Putting your activity in the game and level making beside, because it really isn't at all important, you already put your mark in the community and have shown to be a welcome person. Impact does not determine your reputation, your attitude does. You have definitely succeeded in this, just look at how many people responded to this thread with nothing but appreciation for what you have done for the community. The things that you are saying about what everyone thinks about you are not correlating to the community's general opinion on you.

I'm not going to comment at all about your skill level or motivation for marble blast, because that isn't nearly as important as you realizing your real meaning in the community. I haven't really had interest in this game since around 2015 but still I love to see what this community is up to through this forum and occasionally webchat. I think if you got out of your general belief and negativity you put on yourself it will be a giant step in gaining a lot of confidence both outside and inside this community.