I don't want people to treat me differently because of what I do or don't do, and this goes for anything and everything I will do in the future. I want to be treated as an individual based on who I am as a person - not what I have done - and that is a principle that I cannot stress enough. This is mainly why I've become so hesitant to disclose my senior year information to my peers, but I've since realized that I don't have anything to be ashamed of, and I realize now that I'm sort of making it sound as though I do. The reality is that if my friends are going to react negatively to this decision, then they are not really my true friends. I guess then would be a good way to truly find out. Thus, I should stop wasting my time thinking about it and just do it. So I did.
Last week at a camp I told a number of people I was skipping, and the reactions were mostly positive. Unfortunately, not many of those people went to my school. I met a lot of new people and I wanted to see how people who didn't really know me would react. Since doing that, I told a few people from my school, including those that are closest to me (a few people found out; I figured it would get around). So far my news has been received as a positive connotation, but the majority of my peers still don't know anything about it. I posted on Facebook about it publicly and received a few responses, but overall I'm not sure how I'm going to reach the majority of my peers. One things I definitely want to avoid is telling them one-on-one, since that will make me seem self-obsessed - something I've been trying to avoid this whole time. I don't want people finding out on the first day of school, but I'm not sure what else to do until then.
Recently I've been thinking a bit about the future, and honestly it seems pretty skewed at the moment. The good news is that I can take it in steps. I've started working on my stage image a bit so that I could find something that fit my personality, and I think I've found something. I recently got my hair dyed purple, which was a disaster but the end result was cool. It's a bit darker than I wanted but I think over the course of a couple weeks it will lighten up as the color fades. I need to get it all out before school starts on August 18, however; the dye I chose was demi-permanent, meaning that it will take anywhere from 24-46 washes to fully get the dye out. That's a lot of showers in one month (psh who washes hair independently?). The reason I chose to dye my hair is because I wanted to. I want to encourage self expression without covering up the person you are, and that's sort of the image I'm trying to portray. Well, that and I also wanted my hair purple for when I record the trailer for my album.
What I don't want is stereotypes, mostly by my peers. Unfortunately, many people are going to judge books by their covers, but I've learned not to focus so much on what other people think. If I want to encourage self-expression, which I do to an extent (as explained above), I shouldn't worry about what other people think of the way I color my hair. I do go to church and I honestly pray that I don't get judged by the congregation. If I do, then at least I know who's real and who's not. You see, this is why it's easier to meet new people with purple hair than to revisit people I've met with purple hair. It's a lot more awkward, but it's life.
I have other plans, but I'm honestly anticipating what exactly my life will be like by the end of this year, since I'm at a point now where it could go in any direction. May God help me find the way to fulfill my purpose in this world.
Thank you for reading and goodbye for now,
I love you, but your attitude is like that of a shrew. Your options? Take a pill or be my kill. Might I suggest that you wear a vest. Perish in class or be banished to the land of bluegrass, where dreams don't exist as you'll be eternally pissed.