You know, writing music is fun and all, but writing it under the influence of an idea or an emotion makes it so much more personal and exciting. Although my life hasn't really been difficult as I haven't gone through the same types of things people with hard lives go through, it has consisted of a lot of emotional stress, given I'm an emotional person (despite my emotionless appeal), and sometimes the best way to cope with that is to make music that is not only inspiring but also nostalgic in bringing me back to the good days of my childhood. I was carefree, and I still am, but I won't be for much longer. Currently I'm writing a piece titled "The End", and this is something that means a lot to me personally. I'll tell you why.
I didn't start this until very recently. But it's been on the agenda for years. I knew what I wanted to do with it, but the timing on when to make it is what was important. Right now I'm dealing with a few dilemmas, one of which resulting in the fact that I will not be taking college courses this next year. But then I realized something - everything that has a beginning has an end. This is a phase in my life that will find itself reaching a point of freedom. In 10 years, this part of my life will be gone and I will be onto something new and exciting. Granted, the choices I make now affect the rest of my life, so perhaps that is why I stress myself out so unnecessarily. The fact is that despite what I want for myself in my head, sometimes the plans we make are not always meant to work out, as we may end up finding something different. "The End" is an emotionally inspired piece - one that I take great care in composing, because even though I want to step outside this phase of my life, I want to listen to this piece when it's finished and remember this past year for the rest of my life. It's part of my story, and that to me is important. But that's not where it ends. That is only where it begins.
Earlier this year I had written two other emotionally-inspired pieces that I'd love to share sometime soon, and both of these were created under ideal timing. One was created with the memory of the passing of my dog who died in our own home, and my great-grandmother who died peaceably in the presence of my whole family (aside from me, my brother, and my father, who were two states away), both on May 10-11th. Another one was created as a mixture of thoughts and feelings to describe the end of the world and death itself. Although I might sound depressing here, I'm trying to convey an idea about music and art that has set with me in recent months. Everything I've made prior to this year was made according to a plan and a willingness to do so. Although much of this year was similarly structured, I'm seeing the real beauty of music for what it is, and I'm making new things with new inspirations that I had not done before. I've been around quite a bit of death in recent months, and doing so has given me a new perception of life and how precious it really is.
Everything that has a beginning has an end, and that includes the precious cycle of life itself. It's human nature to take advantage of what time you do have, but you never truly know which day will be your last. Make the most of what you have, and don't let the small prides in life get the best of you. Consider the fact that eventually all things will come to an end, because death is waiting and it is inevitable.
I love you, but your attitude is like that of a shrew. Your options? Take a pill or be my kill. Might I suggest that you wear a vest. Perish in class or be banished to the land of bluegrass, where dreams don't exist as you'll be eternally pissed.