Ditch It All

You know, sometimes in order to truly start over, you have to revoke everything from your past, and I do mean everything. Yeah, I ditched a lot of ideas in the past. And yeah, I've ditched some plans that have come about. I ditched my original job plans, my college plans, my music plans - everything there. But unfortunately that didn't do much for me except make me feel unsatisfactory on the inside. There needed to be something more - something fresh. I needed something that felt new. The reason I changed my look in July was because I needed something new. The reason I skipped was because I was ready for a new experience (which I am definitely getting). However, I still live in my past. In my 2013 year review, I expressed how my ideal for 2014 was "The Past Becomes the Future." This happened, but it happened for a much deeper reason than anything you might prematurely think.

I'm not going to give details yet, per my parents' request, but big things are happening next year after I graduate. Literally everything I know and remembered from my past will be gone, and all I will have to remind me of it is everything I managed to store on my computer over the years. The purpose of this year was to prepare for the future, and because it's my last year, the next era of my life starts next year. Although I'm really dramatizing my point very unnecessarily, the point is there and I wanted that to be clear. To move on in life means to keep your past as part of your story - not to hold onto it forever. I happen to have a big problem with nostalgia, which is why what will happen is a big deal for me; that topped on to college next year as well as recently losing my dog of whom I had a good connection with is really screwing with my emotions. Now, there are other things you don't know and won't know, but the point is this: I didn't have a traumatizing childhood like many people who have gone through things, but everybody has a different set of trials they have to overcome - and not all of those trials occur during one's childhood years. Heck, I didn't think as a child that this is how things would end up. But maybe that's the point; sometimes we take for granted what we have without realizing the fact that our lives are dynamic and could change at any moment.

This last year is it. I know I'm being vague and I've already told you why that is, but what's important is that in this case, the end is actually the beginning. Life is a test, and each day we get either a passing or failing grade. When bad things happen, good things will; and when good things happen, bad things will follow. More specifically, life is an unforgettable journey; it tells a story that is unique to the individual. Every story is a story that won’t be forgotten and is full of events – hills and valleys, trials and solutions – and it’s not that story that has a happy ending. It's the story that keeps the audience waiting to see what will happen next...