Forget Me Not

Don’t let my somewhat questionable purpose fool you; I’m no longer part of this forum in any way that could be considered remotely useful. I want you, the Marble Blast community, to know that I recognize that. Regardless, you are still people just like everyone else. And everyone has something to say, including me. As such, I’ve decided to use this forum as a way to share my experiences with you so that you can learn something more than maybe you thought you would! We all have experiences that we like to share, but how we share them is immensely reflective of the point we want to get across. Consider for a moment a time in your life in which you experienced something that changed your perspective. Did it affect your character? Was it something you would consider traumatic? Most importantly, what can you conclude that you learned from it? Answering these questions to yourself might help you grow mentally and emotionally, as it did me. My mind stays busy more often than not, which I think is evident from the abrupt shift in pace my blogs often take.

Now that the persona has been established, I’m sitting here at the end of my night with a cup of tea. I have nothing on my agenda at the moment which means that my mind has a chance to relax and talk to you folks. This means that this blog will be less formalized than others, because it is being written in just a single sitting with no specific rhetoric. The other day, I had a conversation with an individual who told me that he would rather live his entire life doing what he hates if it means he can live a long life. This made me somewhat sad inside, and was a topic of conversation I had with two different individuals on a different day. Let’s call these individuals Bonnie and Clyde. These two were regulars at my store – they came in often and always got the same drink. One day, my break was scheduled during the same time that these two individuals were seated outside, reflecting on the sunset as it brushed the horizon with its enamoring shine. I didn’t want to interrupt these two, because I didn’t warrant myself worthy of their attention. However, Clyde disagreed, inviting me into the conversation. As most of my introductions go, he asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Jovially, I told him I wanted to be young. When I shared with these two the brief exchange I shared with the previously-mentioned individual (the one who considered a long but dissatisfying life more desirable than a short but happy one), our conversation took a shift.

Bonnie and Clyde had done it all. They had the big house, the nice car, and the leisurely afternoons. It wasn’t often that you would find them sitting at Starbucks on a Wednesday afternoon having a cup of coffee in the midst of a busy work week. But those days were long gone. This couple was unhappy with that busy and upscale lifestyle that they decided to take things down a notch. Bonnie discussed with me the changes she made at home to her diet. By moving to a plant-based diet, Bonnie remedied all of her health problems and has not felt better in the past few years. Clyde shared with me his thoughts on the school system, and how it is poorly preparing students for the real world as it is today (a notion with which I agree and can attest to). The couple’s daughter was homeschooled, but not the traditional homeschool that involves teaching the same set of standards that public school systems enforce. Rather, school was tailored to her interests and desires, with an emphasis on arts and dance (subjects often criticized for not receiving enough attention in the current school system’s standards). I admired this outlook on not relying on the system to do their bidding, but at the same time I inquired as to how exactly Bonnie and Clyde made it to this point in life. It was at this point that Clyde shared with me advice he gave his daughter. He said that you cannot always live off of what you want to do in life, but you can base your career and future decisions around what you want from life. So, you may not achieve the ‘perfect world’ status you hope for, but you can at least consider your options for getting as close as possible without sacrificing that hope completely.

I have taken a hiatus from college, due to unforeseen circumstances and a shift in priorities for me. In the past month, I have been to several major cities from Miami up to New York attending several meetings and working on my plan for the future. But as all deep discussions go, my exchange with Bonnie and Clyde had me evaluating that month. September was a great month – one of the best so far – but just how does one define ‘great’? Is it in regards to how busy it is? Early on, my goal was always to have a lot going on. My mind works by always staying busy, which is why I find myself most at peace in busy, fast-moving environments. Naturally then, my ambitions may somewhat exceed the realm of what is realistically feasible. Having said that, I did stuff last month that I never thought I would, and it truly was the change in pace I needed after multiple emotional fallouts back in May. But I had to ask myself: even though it was busy and I got a lot done, how does one determine true satisfaction? I really enjoyed all the trips I made, but I also recognize that those trips are just moments. They don’t mean anything outside of the present moment that has come and gone. In Two Triumphs, I reflected on the importance of appreciating the present moment, and that is something I cannot stress enough because October has so far been slow. But slow does not equate to bad!

Bonnie and Clyde helped me think about this comparison between busy and simple life in a new light. I think it’s a misconception to think that a busy lifestyle means a successful and happy lifestyle. This is because people often associate ‘busy lifestyles’ with big business people, superstars, or other people who seem to have it all together. My goals in life have all been based around developing this same kind of busy life, because I figured it would make me feel happy with where I’m going in life – as though I retained some sense of purpose in the world. Don’t get me wrong; I had a lot of fun last month and can’t wait to do all that stuff again! But what I realize is that’s all it was: stuff. The trips I took and the meetings I had were just things. They only mean something if I tell myself they do. In the same way, making myself a cup of tea to sit down and write this blog post can mean more than that meeting if I tell myself it does. Everything we do is in our heads; it’s all just stuff. The successes and failures we make are not determinants of our happiness. It is our mindset that determines that. So I encourage you to consider your decisions in the same way that Bonnie and Clyde influenced mine. Think about whatever it is that you people do, but then think about how it makes you feel. Does it bring you purpose? Maybe… but feelings like that are temporary. I would much rather engage in a lifestyle that brings me peace – something that will forget me not throughout my entire duration on earth, less dependent on what I do and more dependent on how I think. But even that could prove to be temporary.

Thanks for reading and my curfew has passed.