2014 - The Past Becomes the Future
My life has been a journey so far - not one of those journeys that has a happy ending, but one of those journeys that forces you to adapt and become stronger. You learn things in those journeys, and those journeys are constantly progressing in an attempt to offer something new. 2013 has been a year of emotional stress for me personally, but I have gained much from it. I feel as though I have become mentally and emotionally stronger, but at the same time, I realize that I still have much to learn about the world.
As far as personal goals go, I'm going to flat out say that I did not even nearly accomplish what I wanted to this year. Often when I think about that reality, I contemplate whether or not anything will change in a year from now. I've tried everything that I know, but I guess I just need to let nature take its course from this point on. That's not me saying that I'm going to stop trying, of course. But let's see: I've released only... six tracks this year? My entire album was cancelled (for good reason, however). And also, I'm still at the same state of fame as I was this time last year. That's depressing.
On a much more optimistic note, my lack of musical endeavors has given me the chance to find other interests and indulge into some other things. Throughout the first half of the year, I'll openly admit that I played a lot of Minecraft. I began playing it around November last year, so it was something new to try out. I do still play it, but not nearly as often. I realized long ago that I'm not gaining anything from it, even if it does allow me to be creative and try new things. I also tried a bit of cup-stacking. That didn't work either. But alas, I do play the violin now - something I've always wanted. Everyone needs that year when you can experiment; this was that year for me. But afterwards, sometimes you realize that the past eventually becomes the future as well.
The past year - 2013 - Overview:
January:
- Procrastination led to my logos not getting completed, and many projects not seeing the light of day
- I asked her to prom. No, not the one I "like(d)" - her friend who only wanted to go as a friend.
February:
- Grandmother dies (this was only days before my mom's birthday, mind ye)
- Festival of Lights is released unintentionally (was never meant to be released)
March:
- I wanted to get a new computer going to be built, but obviously those plans quickly failed after a couple months
- Also was suppose to be a grand month of the year, but nothing happened
April:
- I started my next musical era, Rise of Fame, the purpose of which was to get more well-known. Obviously that didn't happen, but w/e
- ^ Sent out many different tracks to many different networks. Only one network got back with me. Cognitive Reflex was the track I sent them. Small promotion there
May:
- Prom - a success and a failure, but you all know how prom goes
June:
- I had big plans for summer. But my summer was devoted to trying things and, as stated above, experimentation - a lot of it. And it failed - all of it. But that's okay!
- I began a second channel to start recording MC videos of various types. My intention for doing this stemmed from my goals from the year - a rise in promotional efforts. But of course, I had been using a laptop (it was my only option at the time), so theoretically this whole thing was more of a desperation attempt.
- Zaex Battle was released as a completely failed attempt to make something cool. Honestly, the mixing was sooo bad.
July:
- I was suppose to go to my annual one-week camp with my youth group; that didn't happen (but financially, that was expected this year)
- Tripwire was released as an attempt to try something different - one of the very successes of my experimentation!
- Divided by Zero, a project that I cancelled long ago, had been restarted. Its genre was unique; I had to do something with it!
August:
- I thought the first day of school would have been exciting. It wasn't.
- I entered another remix contest (Jim James) in an attempt to win $1,000. It was just my style of music, but that wasn't what they were looking for it seems
- I finished my most recent book, School Days, which reflects my past experiences in school while adding a few fictitious twists
September:
- 15th birthday. Hurray. I got a violin.
- I had to take my album and single off the stores because I didn't make any profit on it. I lost a good deal on it. But I learned something in the experience.
- Divided by Zero's first trailer had been released days prior as to be the release that I hold around this date every year. It was a glorious project that received a surprisingly large amount of initial viewing.
- My album project, The Elite Class, was cancelled. It would be replaced with Dawn of Orchestral Ends
October:
- I found out that the girl I thought I liked skipped a grade; she didn't even tell me. From then on my mom tried to get me to skip a grade also. There was a lot of drama this month - unnecessary drama
- I started to feel very used (details no). I quickly realized that a majority of the people I socialize with are not really true friends.
November:
- I entered another remix contest for Linkin Park's A Light That Never Comes for $2,000 - didn't get anywhere. I thought this would be my big opportunity, but I quickly lost interest, again.
- The girl and I got into a heated discussion over text because of some conclusion that she jumped to. A few days after (the situation cleared up), she asked me if I liked her (it came up); I told her yes. Let's just say I had to move on. For the past three years I had been chasing her indirectly (and directly, mind you; flowers, chocolates, what next? A diamond ring?). Eh, you learn new things about people anyway that you never thought you'd learn. I learned a lot; I'll tell you that much.
December:
- Somehow I always find myself feeling like the victim, even during the holidays. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself, who knows? Or maybe I'm the antagonist. I only want to do things right.
- Divided by Zero was released. It is easily my best work yet. It is available on iTunes!
- I did, however, get a new PC for Christmas. Allow me to just say that it feels so good to finally be in the 21st century. You don't understand what it's like living in a completely outdated atmosphere with modern software. It's horrible. I don't have to live with it anymore, however. I can make music with no CPU issues now! And I can record videos no problem. +++!
- School Days still has not been released. All I asked was for it to be proofread and altered. (There are some things in it that may be offensive to some of my peers who could possibly read it) But four months? Seriously? I'm half-tempted to just release the book myself.
I'm just recently realizing how much that I have changed in the past year. But as I said above, I have to. And I will be eternally grateful for it. I've realized that you can't live your life constantly expecting. You can't live a fake reality where everyone you know is exactly who you want them to be. And you can't live a life holding on to the past. I'll be honest when I say that I used to have anger issues. Back in the day (up to 2010-ish), I lashed out every time I got even slightly frustrated. From that point on, I tried to change. And I did. I don't get angry anymore, because I understand the reality of the world.
What do I mean when I say that the past becomes the future? My past was comprised of fun and excitement. It seems as though the best times of my life were when I was much younger, and had nothing to worry about. Now, I do. I still don't know what I want to do as a career (reliable full-time career, mind you). I don't know where I want to go to college. I'm trying to get a job, but that eats up a large portion of my already-full schedule (still a necessary procedure, however). I want to take college courses next year, but that also requires some drastic actions that may interfere with schedule (and job). < Those are the new things, however. I am still looking for that rise of fame in my musical career. I just don't know how to get it at this point.
^ As I've said before, you have to adapt to environment and circumstance. I will have to adapt to these new changes. So, I'm bringing my past to the future. This includes: Regular activity on the new MB forums, more fun in musical productions, putting time aside to do things with no constructive purpose (to take a break from life, in a matter of speaking), and going back to work on old projects (non-music related). Next year, I'm devoted all my musical efforts to my upcoming album, Dawn of Orchestral Ends. This will be the last big musical release of mine, hence the name. The reasoning for this is because I need to focus on my future, and doing so may require me to put aside my music, as it is currently only a hobby. My efforts therefore will be put towards other things, but not without one final release. I will never stop making music. But every now and then you need a break.
Sometimes, in order to achieve something, you have to first sacrifice something. This next year should be full and fun! I'm looking forward to making the most out of it, and I'm hoping that by this time next year I will have achieved something. But, of course, I can't live my life constantly hoping.
Thank you all for reading and being such a supportive group!
~ TW
As far as personal goals go, I'm going to flat out say that I did not even nearly accomplish what I wanted to this year. Often when I think about that reality, I contemplate whether or not anything will change in a year from now. I've tried everything that I know, but I guess I just need to let nature take its course from this point on. That's not me saying that I'm going to stop trying, of course. But let's see: I've released only... six tracks this year? My entire album was cancelled (for good reason, however). And also, I'm still at the same state of fame as I was this time last year. That's depressing.
On a much more optimistic note, my lack of musical endeavors has given me the chance to find other interests and indulge into some other things. Throughout the first half of the year, I'll openly admit that I played a lot of Minecraft. I began playing it around November last year, so it was something new to try out. I do still play it, but not nearly as often. I realized long ago that I'm not gaining anything from it, even if it does allow me to be creative and try new things. I also tried a bit of cup-stacking. That didn't work either. But alas, I do play the violin now - something I've always wanted. Everyone needs that year when you can experiment; this was that year for me. But afterwards, sometimes you realize that the past eventually becomes the future as well.
The past year - 2013 - Overview:
January:
- Procrastination led to my logos not getting completed, and many projects not seeing the light of day
- I asked her to prom. No, not the one I "like(d)" - her friend who only wanted to go as a friend.
February:
- Grandmother dies (this was only days before my mom's birthday, mind ye)
- Festival of Lights is released unintentionally (was never meant to be released)
March:
- I wanted to get a new computer going to be built, but obviously those plans quickly failed after a couple months
- Also was suppose to be a grand month of the year, but nothing happened
April:
- I started my next musical era, Rise of Fame, the purpose of which was to get more well-known. Obviously that didn't happen, but w/e
- ^ Sent out many different tracks to many different networks. Only one network got back with me. Cognitive Reflex was the track I sent them. Small promotion there
May:
- Prom - a success and a failure, but you all know how prom goes
June:
- I had big plans for summer. But my summer was devoted to trying things and, as stated above, experimentation - a lot of it. And it failed - all of it. But that's okay!
- I began a second channel to start recording MC videos of various types. My intention for doing this stemmed from my goals from the year - a rise in promotional efforts. But of course, I had been using a laptop (it was my only option at the time), so theoretically this whole thing was more of a desperation attempt.
- Zaex Battle was released as a completely failed attempt to make something cool. Honestly, the mixing was sooo bad.
July:
- I was suppose to go to my annual one-week camp with my youth group; that didn't happen (but financially, that was expected this year)
- Tripwire was released as an attempt to try something different - one of the very successes of my experimentation!
- Divided by Zero, a project that I cancelled long ago, had been restarted. Its genre was unique; I had to do something with it!
August:
- I thought the first day of school would have been exciting. It wasn't.
- I entered another remix contest (Jim James) in an attempt to win $1,000. It was just my style of music, but that wasn't what they were looking for it seems
- I finished my most recent book, School Days, which reflects my past experiences in school while adding a few fictitious twists
September:
- 15th birthday. Hurray. I got a violin.
- I had to take my album and single off the stores because I didn't make any profit on it. I lost a good deal on it. But I learned something in the experience.
- Divided by Zero's first trailer had been released days prior as to be the release that I hold around this date every year. It was a glorious project that received a surprisingly large amount of initial viewing.
- My album project, The Elite Class, was cancelled. It would be replaced with Dawn of Orchestral Ends
October:
- I found out that the girl I thought I liked skipped a grade; she didn't even tell me. From then on my mom tried to get me to skip a grade also. There was a lot of drama this month - unnecessary drama
- I started to feel very used (details no). I quickly realized that a majority of the people I socialize with are not really true friends.
November:
- I entered another remix contest for Linkin Park's A Light That Never Comes for $2,000 - didn't get anywhere. I thought this would be my big opportunity, but I quickly lost interest, again.
- The girl and I got into a heated discussion over text because of some conclusion that she jumped to. A few days after (the situation cleared up), she asked me if I liked her (it came up); I told her yes. Let's just say I had to move on. For the past three years I had been chasing her indirectly (and directly, mind you; flowers, chocolates, what next? A diamond ring?). Eh, you learn new things about people anyway that you never thought you'd learn. I learned a lot; I'll tell you that much.
December:
- Somehow I always find myself feeling like the victim, even during the holidays. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself, who knows? Or maybe I'm the antagonist. I only want to do things right.
- Divided by Zero was released. It is easily my best work yet. It is available on iTunes!
- I did, however, get a new PC for Christmas. Allow me to just say that it feels so good to finally be in the 21st century. You don't understand what it's like living in a completely outdated atmosphere with modern software. It's horrible. I don't have to live with it anymore, however. I can make music with no CPU issues now! And I can record videos no problem. +++!
- School Days still has not been released. All I asked was for it to be proofread and altered. (There are some things in it that may be offensive to some of my peers who could possibly read it) But four months? Seriously? I'm half-tempted to just release the book myself.
I'm just recently realizing how much that I have changed in the past year. But as I said above, I have to. And I will be eternally grateful for it. I've realized that you can't live your life constantly expecting. You can't live a fake reality where everyone you know is exactly who you want them to be. And you can't live a life holding on to the past. I'll be honest when I say that I used to have anger issues. Back in the day (up to 2010-ish), I lashed out every time I got even slightly frustrated. From that point on, I tried to change. And I did. I don't get angry anymore, because I understand the reality of the world.
What do I mean when I say that the past becomes the future? My past was comprised of fun and excitement. It seems as though the best times of my life were when I was much younger, and had nothing to worry about. Now, I do. I still don't know what I want to do as a career (reliable full-time career, mind you). I don't know where I want to go to college. I'm trying to get a job, but that eats up a large portion of my already-full schedule (still a necessary procedure, however). I want to take college courses next year, but that also requires some drastic actions that may interfere with schedule (and job). < Those are the new things, however. I am still looking for that rise of fame in my musical career. I just don't know how to get it at this point.
^ As I've said before, you have to adapt to environment and circumstance. I will have to adapt to these new changes. So, I'm bringing my past to the future. This includes: Regular activity on the new MB forums, more fun in musical productions, putting time aside to do things with no constructive purpose (to take a break from life, in a matter of speaking), and going back to work on old projects (non-music related). Next year, I'm devoted all my musical efforts to my upcoming album, Dawn of Orchestral Ends. This will be the last big musical release of mine, hence the name. The reasoning for this is because I need to focus on my future, and doing so may require me to put aside my music, as it is currently only a hobby. My efforts therefore will be put towards other things, but not without one final release. I will never stop making music. But every now and then you need a break.
Sometimes, in order to achieve something, you have to first sacrifice something. This next year should be full and fun! I'm looking forward to making the most out of it, and I'm hoping that by this time next year I will have achieved something. But, of course, I can't live my life constantly hoping.
Thank you all for reading and being such a supportive group!
~ TW
I love you, but your attitude is like that of a shrew. Your options? Take a pill or be my kill. Might I suggest that you wear a vest. Perish in class or be banished to the land of bluegrass, where dreams don't exist as you'll be eternally pissed.
