You won't see me online for a while.

I forgive you completely, Xedron. You haven't behaved very badly at all, and I am saddened to hear that you are depressed and that you could be leaving the community. Just remember that we are always here for you, and I for one will try to make you feel better. A good quote: "Be good. Be happy. Be proud of who you are."

Xedron wrote: ...one of the many immature things I have done.

You should have seen me several years ago...

Goodbye for now.

Xedron wrote: Jeff, I am sorry for how many times I have bugged you and made "jeef" jokes. It is rude and very immature to talk like that just because of someones name. I have caused so much havoc and drama in the webchat and forums that it is right to mute me. As an admin you deserve much respect for your coding work and I ruined it.

I forgive you Xedron. I appreciate the kind words but it wasn't necessary. Get well soon!

Well,

Over the past few months I have experienced depression. I failed classes, and lost friends. I started going crazy. I really can't take life anymore.

I'm sorry to hear that this has happened, I truly am. Depression affects a lot of people, I've had many people close to me experience similar things, we've even had a few community members post about their lives here on the forums. I even had a fairly rough patch myself in life so I know how you feel, and I know that "just cheer up" is not an option. Depression is much more than just being in a bad mood - it's a medical condition. In my experience (talking to people I know), and from what I've heard, seeking help is the way to go. Most people get much better from counseling; so I very much encourage you do that.

It's come to the point where Marble Blast is the only thing that excites me. And of course, I failed to be a true member to the community and now I regret it massively.

heh, I feel you. Marble blast is the only game I really play anymore, and the only community I am properly part of. I do keep in touch with other people from other communities as well, but not nearly as active as I do with this one. It's truly a great game, and a great community - both helped me get on in life. Part of the reason I played this game so intensively in 2014 was because it was the only thing that i cared about at the time. I still went to school and kept myself from being an introvert, much because I had Marble Blast to play when I got home. My High School years (not exactly high school, but pretty much the equivalent) were terrible. Towards the end I just stopped caring; I would walk into a test and just say "I'll take the F"...

...which leads me to the second part of that quote. There is no such thing as a "true" member of the community. We are all unique. Some are more annoying than others - yes; some contribute more than others - yes. You aren't less or more of a member of the community if you've never made a level - or if you're working on PQ. And you have already made several custom levels, as well as being active on webchat/the forums. Most people have done much less after being a member for as short of a time as you have. I didn't even know how to get on webchat for like... 1.5 years?

I'd also like to say that I don't think it's a good idea to simply leave the only thing that excites you, having a hobby can make life easier. Remember that if your behaviour is the issue, you can change that - you don't need to leave it all behind. We are all friends here, if you need someone to talk to, I'll gladly listen


You say that you are sorry for having "caused so much havoc and drama in the webchat and forums". Now I'm not gonna pretend that we haven't noticed a bit of spamming from you, but let me tell you that you are nowhere near the worst we've had on here. Take me as an example, I think most active people in the community can tell you that I have spammed, told offensive jokes, been immature, broken rules etc. And yet, I'm still here.

I must say that I find it admirable that you apologize for this, despite not even being that bad. Few people ever own up to bad bahaviour... including me. Though I once did say sorry to Regi after one particularly messy session on webchat: (had to go the bottom of my inbox to find this lol)

Sorry about being pissy earlier, it was childish of me.

That's literally the only time I apologized for being a terrible spammer (and trust me I was waaay worse than you, i even made a spam thread with the express intent of inflating my post count).

So yeah, just because things look bad right now doesn't mean it always will be like that. And once again, I hope you seek help with the depression, it does help

I hope you get better

/Kalle

Didn't see that coming.. Can't really find the right words to say what I wanted to say, but I hope you get better soon; having the courage to make this topic is a huge step in itself. Good luck, and I hope to see you again in better days!

I'm sorry to hear that. Depression is a serious thing... Just try to ask for help from people that you know and from us!
You're actually a nice person, not a "cancer-bringing" person or whatsoever. You're like, a very close friend to me... starting when we like, competed for WRs?
I just want to tell you that... get better faster than a heartbeat.

Actually, I sang something just for you. Without you, I won't be the same.

-Be proud of who you are!-
~Legenda

Xedron wrote: Over the past few months I have experienced depression. I failed classes, and lost friends. I started going crazy.

I am going to 2nd what Kalle said completely (for most of this post, but I feel that the points bear repeating), mainly because I have also experienced depression (approximately 1-2 years of my life) and that it also followed the same vein as this, I drifted away from social interaction more than ever before, basically failed an entire years' worth of schoolwork, and became so attached to Marble Blast (and other games to speedrun etc.) that it was completely unhealthy.
Best option is to seek counselling (which is what I did), getting to discuss feelings and allowing to thoroughly go through these feelings with someone is very liberating, and it definitely helps with recovery from this medical condition.

Xedron wrote: And of course, I failed to be a true member to the community and now I regret it massively.

Honestly, when I was in a depressed state I desperately tried to find value in my life myself in anything, only to go 'well I could have done better in such and such'. There isn't such a thing as a 'true member' apart from being here. Various people have various roles and the community continues to roll on, keeping Marble Blast and enjoyable game to play.

You don't have to leave Marble Blast permanently (I tried), but having something to alongside that can help in general as well.

In terms of being "cancerous" with your actions and words, I disagree. You definitely have acted a lot better than some of the other communities' troubles we have had (coughKallecough) and we are still very happy to have you in our community.

Hope you get well soon

Aww, I will miss you. In fact, I am starting to break friendships as well. I am completely sorry for the fact you are starting to quit. A few weeks ago, I was thinking about quitting also. But I did push on and I am continuing to enjoy Marble Blast and I hope you do the same.

-INATG

Having a member who actually wants to be here is preferable to members who just come and go. So if nothing else, you're already an asset because you show how much this game and community means to you. I think we can all agree that being part of this community has had an impact on our lives, albeit in varying different ways. I know that for me, being here has given me a place to talk about my own life amongst people with similar stories, including you. It's a place where I feel more comfortable than anywhere else, and everybody needs that.

Just know that you have already made a more positive impression by showing us that you care about these things. We're all people here - all the same in at least one aspect. Nobody's perfect; just know that we've got your back if you ever need to talk to anyone, in the event that you feel most comfortable doing so.

Hey, don't worry! We don't hate you or even dislike you here. In fact, I quite like you! As far a depression goes; just remember that you will ALWAYS get out of what is bothering you, no matter what. I completely understand how you feel about life currently, but just push through and it will get better. Rainbows only come after rain, always remember that. Also, I'd love to see more levels from you, because you are talented in that area, and your levels are especially good for a newcomer. I'd hate to see you stop making them.